Thursday, August 27, 2009

Say It Ain't So Joe


So last night Joe Johnson decided to try his luck with ustream. This horrified me in ways I can't even describe. We've all witnessed first hand the kind of things you can learn about a basketball player when he sits in front of a camera all day and some of it ain't pretty.
At first its all fun and games, but before you know it he's sitting there yelling at the haters on the computer; then the next thing you know he's eating Vaseline.
Let me intervene before Joe has some sort of life changing episode.

Joe The Basketball Player, you are not that interesting and that is the most interesting thing about you.
Yeah we Bloggers may make fun of you from time to time for being overall emotionless, but that's who you are. Don't try to change now.
So what if we can count the number of times you've smiled during the game without using all of our fingers and toes. Its what we've come to expect. Don't change now.
I don't know who peer pressured you into doing the live stream, but don't let this turn into a really bad episode of The After School Program.
I'm begging you, please quit while you're ahead.
I honestly don't want to know what you do off the court. I rather enjoy the completely professional business relationship we've had over the last 4 years. I know we're in the information age and there's unlimited access, but there doesn't have to be, really. One of the most endearing things about you is that all of the stories surrounding you are basketball related. We don't know what you do with your free time and for the most part we don't really care. Trying to make us care is the worst thing you could do.
You know how the game is played. If you let them (media, fans) in once then all of a sudden they feel like it's their God given right to know everything about you. Do you really want the paparazzi rifling through your trash?
Okay, so you're not Brittany Spears and they probably wouldn't bother, but you get my point.
Joe The Basketball Player does not need to act like an attention starved whore. Leave that to Stephon Marbury.